I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
