i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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