It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
