i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
