do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
