Im at strip club and am horny
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
ugly people sure do ruin things
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
