? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
