hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
