you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
