i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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