dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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