i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
