I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
