Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
