i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
