I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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