You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
how drunk are you?
Several
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
