he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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