Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
