They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
