Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize