No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
