You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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