Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I cockslap morals
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
