everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
