so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
