I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
