I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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