How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
