where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
