just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
