i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
