So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
