i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just want nice things and good sex
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have fence marks all over my body
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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