I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
