she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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