i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
