Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize