i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
