his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
