It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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