My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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