is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
