whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize