Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
