She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
