Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
