i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
