i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Enjoy the penises
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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