She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
