My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize