which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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