Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
