I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
