tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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