you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
