You really coming over, don't trick.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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