I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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