my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
