im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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