So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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