Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
nutella sex= disaster
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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