Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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