I'm drive I can fine osifer
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
